Archive for February, 2010

A Horse’s Prayer

Posted in Life on February 24, 2010 by Outdoors2

Feed me, Water me and Care for me.
When my day’s work is done, provide me with shelter,
a dry, clean bed and a stall with enough room for me to lie down in comfort.

Talk to me. Your voice often means as much to me as the reins.
Pet me sometimes, that I may serve you more gladly and learn to love you.

Do not jerk the reins and do not whip me when going uphill.
Never strike, beat or kick me when I do not understand
what you mean, but give me a chance to understand.

Watch me and if I fail to do your bidding, see if something
is wrong with my harness or feet. Examine my teeth
when I do not eat, I may have an ulcerated tooth that is very painful.
Do not tie my head in an unnatural position or take away
my best defense against flies by cutting off my tail.

Do not smoke in my barn or leave me tied up overnight
and perhaps burn me to death while you are sleeping in
your comfortable bed.

And last, my Master, when my strength is gone, do not
turn me out in a pasture without shelter and let me freeze
to death, or sell me to some cruel owner to be slowly
starved or worked to death, but take my life in the kindest
way and your God will reward you in the hereafter.

Author Unknown

The Very Tired Nurse’s Rectal Thermometer

Posted in Life on February 24, 2010 by Outdoors2

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.

Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and without missing a beat, she says:

‘Well, that’s great….that’s just great…. Some asshole’s got my pen’!