My Premonition

4:10 am

“Yeeeeah?…. alright I’ll pick you up in about 15, 20 minutes, let me take a crap and find my friggin’ license, you make coffee yet?”

“Yep and the bacon’s on too.”

“Jesus, Cole! Do you ever stop fuckin’ eating? I’m still stuffed ! See ya in a bit”

I had to get rid of last nights grillins; Springtime fishing is a endless bounty of freezer stuffers and we had a great time at our local honey hole yesterday. The smallmouth bass were hitting anything we threw at ‘em and Cole was just itching to get an early start.

My guts were a little uneasy after all the food we cooked last night and I was in no hurry. I gathered up my tackle and found the license laying on the floor of the gazebo. It must of fell out of my pocket when I finally collapsed in front of the fireplace.

I was jarred awake around 1 am to the sound of thunder and made my way inside to
finish off the dream . . .

It was a good one too!

All I remember was a carton of Moonpies, a six pack of Cokes and a muddy Jeep ride with some tight jeans and a clean white T. . .

Cole lives down a twisting lane, fenced on both sides, so it was easy for my groggy eyes to blindly follow the gravel path. I realized not far along though, that it had rained pretty good last night. I hit a couple of puddles and got my ass wet, without having the doors on the Jeep.

I smelled the breakfast as I pulled up to the brightly lit house and had to dodge
Bruiser and One – Eye, Cole’s coon hounds. Who instinctively start howling
when they hear the Jeep coming half a mile away! They go into that mode when its dark out, regardless whether we’re going or not.

“Find your license?”

“Yep, Got coffee?”

“Sure do, grab a seat, ya want toast?”

“Sure, I ain’t in no hurry. The roads gonna be wet as shit, it poured last night. Andy’s field is full again”.

Cole slid a plateful in front of me and set his down. Then went and grabbed our coffee.

“Gonna have to lock the hubs in to get down to the river. It’s gonna be sloppy for sure.
You’re gonna have to take the tractor to your drive, it washed out again down by the cedars.”

“Damn, think I’ll need more gravel?”

“Nahh, just a brushing’ll do’er” . . .

“Maybe pull some in from the lower edge.”

“Thanks for the eggs”.

“Sure, there’s more bacon if ya want.”

“Nah, I’m good…ya ready?”

“You kidding? I cant wait to start casting, that was a ball yesterday.”

“Sure was! Well lets git goin then.” (I grab the bacon.)

We locked the hubs in and pulled out, Bruiser and One – Eye followed along,
till I could hear their howls diminish, like they always do.

I didn’t have the fence to guide me any more. So it was a little harder to see
especially going down through the wooded trail.

All of a sudden an owl came swooping down from my left! Scared the shit out of me!
(didn’t think I had any left) and when I ducked, I pulled the wheel to the right,
that sucked us downward into the gully, I nailed the gas and the mud started to fly.

I knew I had to keep from getting stuck in that ravine. Well, I cut it back to the left again and she started to climb back up out of a certain mire. When all of a sudden,
I saw an old dead fall, with it’s outcropping of branches headed right for my grill!

Still in threat of sliding down into the deep ditch, I had to keep going.

The screeeeeeeching of metal and wood brings cringes to me as it rubs its way along. Snapping and popping as the brittle twigs break free from the trunk.

I managed to save us from going into the ravine. But in that quick instant a branch had reached up into her innards and rendered us immobile. I imagined, it had popped the Z Bar off of the clutch.

Well, I shut her off and climbed out. Kicking and grabbing sticks and twigs, cussing and growling.

I hurriedly got the hood cleared off and opened it up in fear of the battery shorting out or a broken gas line.

Nothing was injured inside the engine compartment. I sighed a little sighhhhh of relief.

So, the next thing was to crawl underneath and look for the Z Bar to try and pop it back on.

I’m on my back under the front end and the water is starting to soak my shirt. I holler out: “Cole bring me the flashlight. It’s in the glove box between the seats!”

I yell again, “Hurry up I’m getting wet!”

Suddenly I feel a hand on my crotch, I clang my head loudly on the metal undercarriage and scream out, “WHAT THE FUCK !”

I clamber on out from underneath the Jeep and there stands Cole:

With a Moonpie and a Coke, in a white T, and his fat ass tightly encased in blue jeans!!!

~Outdoors2 5/08

this is another story written for a “Twisted Tales Challenge” @ Redbubble

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One Response to “My Premonition”

  1. Nice site – Like what you did. Wishing you a very happy and prosperous new year !

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